Cooking dinner for Jack

[callmemajor]

It's a lovely evening, and Lorne is tempted to stop by the lake for a quick dip on the way, but he's carrying raw meat with him, which makes it seem like a bad idea. The walk itself is nearly as nice anyway, and Lorne smiles as the cabin comes into view.

It feels like coming home on leave, which he supposes it sort of is, except that he didn't have to apply for it, and it won't come out of his bank.

"You know what we should get, babe? A grill," he says as they come up the stairs to the porch.

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[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"That mesquite flavor..." He enters the cabin and inhales, looking around. He loves this place.

"I'm going to plant a kitchen garden," he announces. "And build a hothouse."

[callmemajor]

Lorne chuckles and takes the bag to the kitchen and starts unpacking it. "I swear, one of these days I'm gonna come back and you'll be completely self-sufficient out here."

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"We practically are," Jack says. "As long the well stays viable and the hunting's good."

[callmemajor]

"True," Lorne says. "Of course, considering we already live at the end of the universe, I can't imagine why we'd need to be." He pulls out a cast-iron frying pan and sets it up on the stove.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"It keeps me busy," Jack says and hangs his jacket. "I'll do the potatoes."

[callmemajor]

"Good," Lorne says. "I like to hear you're keeping busy."

He takes out the steaks and gets some spices from the cupboard.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"What if I said I sit by the window and pine for you all day?" Jack says, grinning at him, and he pumps water into the sink to wash the potatoes.

[callmemajor]

"Then I'd worry a hell of a lot more than I already do," Lorne answers, grinning back and rubbing a few of the spices into the steak.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"You don't need to worry at all," Jack says and gives him a quick kiss.

[callmemajor]

"I still do," Lorne says, patting his cheek.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

Jack shakes his head and rolls his eyes, and goes back to the sink to start slicing the potatoes into fries.

[callmemajor]

"I'm allowed to worry," Lorne protests, setting the steaks in the pan where they sizzle merrily.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"Evan," Jack says, "nothing is going to happen to me here, and like I said, I keep busy."

[callmemajor]

"I know that, just...well, sometimes you sound like you're not really happy here."

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

Jack shrugs, slicing.

"I'm as happy as someone can be in my circumstances."

[callmemajor]

Lorne frowns. "That's not entirely reassuring."

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

Jack sighs and puts down the paring knife. "Babe. Listen. I'm never going to grow old. I know this, and sometimes it sounds great, and sometimes it feels like a curse. I try not to think about it, which is why I build things and read and watch films down at the bar. There's so much to catch up on.

"It's the best I can hope for. And it beats an afterlife of . . . nothing."

[callmemajor]

Lorne just looks at him for a moment, brows furrowed.

"Okay," he says quietly, and turns back to the steaks.

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

Jack resumes slicing.

"And now you're mad at me," he says quietly.

[callmemajor]

"I'm not mad at you," Lorne says. "But I..." He flips the steaks.

"I love you and I want you to be happy, and it...hurts that you're not, but there's nothing I can do about it and that...that bothers me."

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"I don't expect you to fix everything," Jack says. "I mean, it's death that we're talking about here.

"But I have a good man who loves me and a beautiful place to live, and plenty to do. Most of the time I do pretty well."

[callmemajor]

"And the rest of the time?"

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

"The rest of the time," says Jack with a sigh, "is a long dark midnight of the soul that I'd rather not dwell on.

"I'm getting a beer. Do you want a beer?"

[callmemajor]

Lorne sighs as well. "Yeah, okay. I'll have a beer."

[firstcptjack.livejournal.com]

Jack gets two bottles from their ice box, twists them open and hands one to Lorne.

"I love you," he says quietly. "I'm never unhappy when you're here."